Gluten Free Brown Butter Coconut Blondies

These take a few extra steps to make, but are worth it. Seriously browning the butter is a great way to almost always improve your baking. The other extra step is soaking the coconut in sweetened condensed coconut milk for added flavor and soft-cookie texture. You must use a parchment sling to get these dudes out of the pan. You are making basically one giant cookie that will want to stick to the edges, cooking spray is not enough. 

As with most cookies, the goal is to NOT develop gluten, so its a forgiving recipe for any 1:1 gluten free flour blend. The only I wouldn't use is one that has pea flour or chick pea flour - since it sometimes overtakes desserts.

This is a modified double batch version of Fifteen Spatula's Brown Butter Toffee Blondies. 

 

Gluten Free Brown Butter Coconut Blondies

9"x13" pan
parchment paper
cooking spray
rubber scraper/spatula
350F oven

1 cup unsalted butter

1.5 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1 can, 11.25oz of sweetened condensed coconut milk

2 cups packed brown sugar  

4 large eggs
1 TBSP vanilla extract
2 cups of gluten free flour blend (with xanthan gum or psyllium husk)
1.5 tsp baking powder
1.5 tsp salt
1 cup of unsweetened flaked coconut
1-2 tsp flaky sea salt

1. In a sauce pan, brown the butter over medium heat. Remove from the heat and put into a stand mixer. 

 

2. Put the sweetened condensed coconut milk in the warm pan with the shredded coconut. Warm over medium heat for 5-10 minutes. Turn off the heat, cover. (you are steaming the coconut to soften it)

 

YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK HERE - and let everything cool and come back after. Otherwise you really want to make sure that the coconut and brown butter are not hot before adding them to the mix. If you push it, you could scramble the eggs.

3. Line your baking pan with parchment paper slings and cooking spray.

4. Once the brown butter has cooled a bit - put your hand on the side of the mixer bowl - if it is HOT, you need to wait. If it is warm, you are good to add the brown sugar and mix.

5. Once the brown sugar is mixed in thoroughly, add in the eggs and vanilla. Mix well. 

6. Scrape down the bowl and mix again. 

7. Add in the baking flour, baking powder, salt. Mix well. 

8. Scrape down and mix again. 

9. Add in the cooled shredded coconut / sweetened condensed coconut mix. Mix well.

10. Spread into lined baking pan. Use a spatula to level. 

11. Sprinkle flaked coconut and flaky sea salt. 

12. Bake at 350F for 35-50 minutes, until a toothpick inserted comes out cleanly.

13. Allow to completely cool in pan. Remove from pan and slice.

fermented mustard

Fermented Mustard
1 1/2 cups whole mustard seeds, pulsed a few times in a spice grinder
4 tsp sea salt
1 cup raw apple cider vinegar (the bottles that says "with mother")
1/2 cup filtered water (no chlorine is key)
2 tbsp raw sauerkraut juice
1/4 cup verjus*

Mix all ingredients in a glass jar. Leave slightly covered at room temp for 1-3 weeks. Store in refrigerator.

I was watching It's Alive, because fermenting things is one of my most favorite things. Seriously, it makes me feel like a kitchen witch every time I can transform a thing into another thing that doesn't go bad because it rotted in the BEST way.

The episode where Brad ferments mustard really blew me away. I had never thought of fermenting mustard seeds and immediately wanted to know what it tasted like.

The first batch I made was much hotter and had some ground mustard, garlic and onion powder. With this recipe I really wanted to see how paired down I could get it. The grind on the seeds is pretty course; I pulsed them just a few times to break most of them up.

For the first few days the mix smells so strong its almost painful. After about a week it started to mellow out, but it was still hot, think Chinese mustard hot. 3 weeks in is when I decided it was done and moved it to the fridge. The finished product tastes like mustard, but better. It is hot, but just at the start, then chills out.

I have used it in marinades, sauces, and salad dressings (really great with a bit of honey, lemon, olive oil).

*Verjus is a pretty special and hard to find ingredient.You can replace it with some sugar - the goal is to give the bacteria something to kick start the fermentation process.
I happened to have some around because I was recreating a medieval fish recipe. It is made from unfermented green grapes. It has a wonderful bright sour flavor that is sweeter than vinegar. (It was also used in cocktails when limes were difficult to procure. It makes a FANTASTIC margarita!)

resolutions

On New Year's Day, I said aloud: "every time I have gained weight, my body has been protecting me."
This is a realization I came to a while ago, but voicing it has changed so many things.

2018 was the year that I decided to love my body, exactly as it is.

For most humans, this is radical self love, for those managing chronic disease and pain... it is something I don't have the words to describe.

Seeing my body as working with me, not against me, shifted something. My body and I started working together in a new way.

I thought I loved it before, but all of my love was conditional:
-I love my body, but I wish my stomach didn't have rolls
-I love my body, except for my knee/back/chest/broken toe
-I love my body, why can't it love gluten

The lists continued and I never really loved all of me. I hated gaining weight after surgery/injury/depression and saw it as a moral failing or lack of will power, or some new task I needed to accomplish. When my body was doing what I needed, conserving resources so I could heal. 

I honestly am not sure this is the space to share this, but I also know how many folks struggle with eating disorders brought on or intensified by food-related health issues (raises hand).
I also know that this time of year, we are bombarded with shame, guilt, marketing to "undo" the holidays or "regain" control over our bodies.

Diets have been proven over and over to not work to create and maintain weight loss, and weight is not the sole indicator of health. The trendy new "clean eating" is another form of disordered eating, which is very dangerous to those in recovery for eating disorders.

Today, I love my body. I love it for what it has done and what it is doing. It turned food into energy so I could think this, type this, and share this. That is truly amazing!

I am sharing with you my only resolution for this year, to thank my body for existing and supporting me every day. I take a moment every morning and evening to say it aloud, to be in a moment of complete gratitude. (I am not saying this while I am washing my face and wondering how adult acne hasn't been cured, I am not saying it while pushing on a sore muscle or painful spot.)
I am holding a few seconds or a minute of just pure gratitude.

There are parts of my body that I would like to work differently. I want to be more flexible, I excited to be able to feel stronger, and having better posture means fewer migraines. Instead of being frustrated that I am not these things yet, I am actively saying thank you for every step my body is taking working towards these goals.

Examples of gratitude:
+I am so grateful for making it through 26 minutes of yoga and am proud of listening to my body and taking 2 breaks when I needed them
+I am so lucky for being able to have learned things in PT that keep my back safe, happy, and healthy and I use them every day
+Lymphatic systems are amazing! I am so glad mine is working and clearing out this cold.

It is as simple to be upset that I was sick, or dread exercise, or be frustrated that I couldn't push through something without a break. Or, I could see the joy and accomplishment.

I am human, there are days I am going to probably get it wrong, but I am going to forgive myself and step right back into saying thank you - thanks for having a body that can make mistakes, learn, and do something new and different.

Wishing you your best year filled with love, delicious food, joy, and abundance.

oven roasted chick peas

This is a recipe that I forget where it came from. I think it happened after I "discovered" kale chips last year and decided to try to oven roast/fry nearly everything. These chick peas have become the single-most popular (and requested) party snack I make.

The recipe is really easy to modify or adapt to your particular tastes - I often omit the cayenne if I am bringing it to a group of unknown human mouths who might not love the warm kick. You really can't go wrong unless you put dried herbs in - those babies will burn and make your delicious fried orbs taste horrible - trust me. 

If you are going to make a big batch, it is worth it to buy dried chick peas and soak and boil them yourself. It  takes more time, but is so much cheaper. (if you do this, you will need to add more salt) That said, canned chick peas aren't that expensive and you are the boss of you, so do what feels right. 

oven roasted chick peas

2 cans of chick peas, drained and washed well

1/4 cup olive oil 

1/4 tsp smoked cinnamon

cayenne (you can substitute something more mild like aleppo, but hold off and add it half way through cooking)

sea salt (you are going to use this 2x)

1/2 tsp ground celery seed

1 tsp toasted onion powder or garlic powder -both if you are awesome

2 tsp ground coriander

1 tsp ground cumin 

Pre-heat oven to 400F

1. Drain those chick peas really well

2. Spread them out on to a sheet pan or a baking dish - you don't want them doubled up

3. Generously coat the chick peas in olive oil - you should see extra puddling 

4. Sprinkle on the spices and salt. You will be tempted to roll the chick peas around to coat them DON'T. It will cause most of the deliciousness to fall off into the oil. 

5. Place the peas in the oven for 35-45 minutes - you are going to want to flip them at least 2x

6. Done = the chick peas shrinking to half their size, and darkening without burning. If you see some of them start to flake off their outer shell and crisp, you are there. 

So now you have a choice - take them out of the oven when they are crispy on the outside and a little soft in the middle, or keep on cooking for another ~10 minutes to get them to be more like the texture of spicy Indian snack mix. I prefer them the first way, but the second is also great

7. Remove from oven and allow to cool in the pan. 

8. If you manage to not devour them immediately, store in an air-tight container. If you make them a few days ahead of time, they will get a little soggy. You can pop them back in the oven, or a toaster oven, for a few minutes on 400 until you hear them start to sizzle, remove, cool, and serve. 

. 

gluten free, dairy free hot cross buns

This is the closest I have come to a dairy-free brioche! I modified my brioche recipe to make a Greek Easter Bread and Hot Cross Buns. It worked well and my only complaint is that the buns/bread deflated a bit post-cooling. I would add a bit of psyllium husk next time and see if that helped create a more robust crumb. 

The buns were stellar, the Greek Bread had too much lemon oil, so I think it could work well if you just omitted that one pesky ingredient. This technique doesn't require an overnight proof, but I find it easier to work with dough that has rested and had the time to build it's yeasties, especially if it is cooler out. (The extra yeast also means more flavor, so if you can let this sticky mess rest!)

 dairy-free brioche dough

1 1/4 cup sweet rice flour

1/2 cup tapioca starch

1 cup arrowroot

1 1/4 cup corn starch

1 cup millet flour

3/4 cup potato starch

2 tbsp yeast

1 tbsp kosher salt

2 tbsp xathan gum

2  3/4 cup almond milk cup water

1/2 cup honey

4 eggs

1 cup canola oil

1. Combine all the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, with the paddle attachment at the ready. 
When you are ready to bake your bread(s) preheat the oven to 350F
**

2. Combine all the wet ingredients into a separate bowl and mix them until they are incorporated. 

3. With the paddle attachment on the lowest setting, gently mix the dry ingredients. Slowly pour in the wet ingredients.

4. Once all of the wet ingredients have been added in, turn the mixer up to high and mix for at least 5 minutes, stopping at least 2x to scrape down the bowl. 

The dough is going to be very very sticky and look quite wet. 

5. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

6. Punch down the dough, divide it into 2 bowls, add in your flavorings. 

7. Shape the dough - since the dough is so soft and sticky a disher is the best for this

8. Allow it to proof - this is going to take 20-60 minutes depending on size and temperature of your house. 

9. Bake at 350F until golden brown and cooked through (~30min)

Greek Easter Bread add-ins

2 tbsp lemon zest

1 tsp lemon oil (this was too much, should omit)

1 tbsp lemon juice

**

hot cross bun add-ins

1/4 cup chopped dried fruit

1 tbsp extract di sicily*

1 tbsp orange zest

1 tbsp orange juice

1 tsp lemon juice

*I not so secretly tried to recreate the flavors of panettone, so not super traditional, but they tasted great!

Hot Cross Bun Icing - 1/2 cup powdered sugar, a few drops of vanilla extract, and a few drops of coconut milk until it just comes together. You want to squeeze it onto the buns while they are still warm. 

ghostfish

My 11 year gluten-free anniversary came and went without any fanfare. There is something pleasant about it being a non-event. I remember when everything felt, so ick. My body felt awful, going out to eat was not fun (Can't have wheat?! Just get the white bread instead!), gluten-free packaged replacement foods were very expensive and only available at specialty shops.

It is a lot easier now. Gluten-free became a fad, and while cross-contamination is a much bigger issue now, everything else is, for the most part, a lot easier.

There is a lot more awareness, more blogs, more books, more support groups, more doctors who don't think "it must be in your head", though plenty still don't listen to women.

One thing I still miss is beer. More than beer I miss the flexibility of spontaneity and not having to plan meals, but I digress.

There are lovely gluten-free beers, but it is not the same as being able to share a beer that a friend is excited about. Gluten-free beers still have significant hurdles:
-the finish is often sweet or soapy
-the texture is often thin
-for some reason hops are driven by the building, but never make it into the beer
-there are a lot more gluten-removed beers, which are not safe for people with celiac (this irks me more than I can say... but I guess "yay" for those folks who can drink them)

Ghostfish was a pleasant surprise! Dedicated gluten-free facility and beer that tastes like my memory of "real" beer. The Grapefruit IPA is definitely less bitter than Groundbreaker's #5, but the grapefruit comes through in a way that doesn't overpower the hops.

Shrouded Summer is not something I would normally pick up because juniper is an ingredient. (also big props to beer makers who go above and beyond the required labeling laws and list ALL ingredients)
I really dislike juniper, but it is not loud and in no way gin-like... and I like what it does in this beer, providing something in the background that is needed.

I am excited to try more in the line-up.

Food access & activism

If you ever wondered why this blog was never turned into a cookbook, I talk about that and food activism in the The New England Unsettler's latest episode: Feel Your Eatings.

I was trepidatious to do a radio show, but I had a wonderful time and every once in a while it is really great to have to explain one's feelings, morals, ethics and push into the contradictions.

kitchen essentials

It is that time of year again, moving season. If you are just graduating and heading out on your own, or dealing with having to shuffle your life into boxes again, setting up a kitchen can be daunting. It also can be a money pit. After tackling 14 home kitchens I have whittled down my must-haves significantly. (cough, if you have moved it 2x and not used it, you don't need it, cough.)

Items in bold are my must haves, things that I think a kitchen needs to function. Items that follow, in regular text, are the things I really like and are great add-ons. At the end I tacked on my must-haves for baking, a special category for keeping a gluten-free kitchen, and one more if you are lucky enough to have an outdoor grill.

Fire extinguisher - this is not negotiable. You should not be allowed to inhabit a kitchen without at least 1. This is not up for discussion. It is worth every penny and could save your life, along with most of your earthly possessions, but don't do without the thing that could save your life. You must get one, better yet two. Fire extinguishers are rated with a letter system. It is worth making sure the type you are getting will meet your needs. There are kitchen-rated fire extinguishers, they are often white instead of red, which should be used in kitchen fires only. If you have an outdoor grill, you need a more broadly rated fire extinguisher and yes it must be in addition to the one in your kitchen.

Knives are the most important investment you have. Keep the sharp, never put them in the dishwasher, and they will last for at least your lifetime. I really like Wusthof, but the most important thing is that the knife fits in your hand. I can get away with a shallower handle, but anyone with larger hands would experience some unpleasant knuckle bashing if they tried to use my favorite knife. You need to test out your knives before you buy. If a place is being weird about letting you try out their wears, go somewhere else.
chef's knife
pairing knife
bread knife
sharpening stone and honing steel 
boning knife - if you cook a lot of meat or have pissed off your butcher
kitchen sheers
2 cutting boards (one for meat, one for everything else)

Stuff you throw in a drawer or keep in a tall container on your counter:
vegetable peeler (Kitchenaid euro style is my all time favorite)
rubber scraper/spatula (2 if you like baking)
wooden spoon
slotted spoon (essential if you are keen on poaching things)
wire whip/whisk
spring-loaded tongs
spatula 
ladle
colander (I really like the ones that fit on the edges of the sink)
meat thermometer or digital probe thermometer (if you are new to cooking meat, this is a must)
spatter guard (if you do any frying, this gets bumped up to the need list)
basting brush (I think the silicone ones are awesome)
chopsticks (they are great for whisking, stirring, and the bamboo kind are great for flipping hot things in pans)

I am going to get some gruff here, but when it comes to cooking vessels I really think you only need:
cast iron skillet 
stock/pasta pot (thick bottom, solid handle construction)
sauce pot
2 jelly roll pans (I like them so much more than baking sheets and use them to roast veggies as much as I do baking)
pressure cooker - I am a convert and use this at least once a week so its on my must list
saute pan - really useful but you can get away with the cast iron for most. It is a must if you cannot live without omelets
dutch oven or crock pot
mixing bowl (you need one, but 2 is really nice. You can skip if you have a stand mixer and space issues.)
vegetable steamer (some can't live with out this ufo-shaped do-dad, I am on the fence)

Almost all food looks better contrasted against white. Get yourself some boring service wear; save your money for other things. A set of four is the bare minimum you need unless you are a hermit.
4 soup/salad bowls
4 small plates
4 large plates
4 forks
4 spoons
4 dinner knives
4 steak knives (nice but you can get away with not serving t-bones and live a great life)
4 wine glasses (you can upgrade to the wine-specific glasses later)
4 water/cocktail glasses
2-4 coffee mugs (don't pay more than $1, thrift stores have more of these and pro-Ts than you could ever imagine)
1-2 large serving bowls (salad, chips, or when you have graduated from serving pasta out of a pot)
1 serving platter
4 small snack bowls (olives, dip, candy)

Things to hold things
You need to accept that you are going to have grain moths and/or mice who will constantly want to eat your food. The best defense is defense. I like glass, specifically Ball jars, when I have eye-level or lower storage. If things are going above my head, I switch to plastic. So you need to get yourself some containers to put flours, beans, rice, and other open dry goods in that will keep beasts out.

Gadgets
step stool (Don't think your tip-toes are going to cut it. Be safe especially with heavy things that can dent your noggin or crush your toe.)
something to make coffee with (drip machine, french press, stove percolator)
tea pot or electric kettle
can opener (Swingline is the best)
wine opener/corkscrew with bottle opener
funnel (I am a fan of the collapsible kind that will fit in a drawer)
toaster oven
2 ice cube trays
kitchen side towels (4 minimum)
box grater 
microplane (I love mine more than the box grater...)
blender or stick blender
vitamix or blendtec (these are the faster, stronger, intense-youtube-video fodder mixers that are worth the money but they should be an upgrade not a first purchase)
food processor
plastic squeeze bottles for oil
microwave

Baking, in general
kitchen scale
parchment paper
silpat (these are great and basically a sturdier version of parchment paper that is reusable)
hand mixer
stand mixer (get the 5 quart because it has the adjustable arm, worth it)
disher (the best way to portion out muffins, cupcakes for even baking)
2-cup liquid measuring cup 
4-cup liquid measuring cup (it is nice, I use mine all the time, but it does take up more space)
set of dry measuring cups
set of dry measuring spoons
casserole dish/baking dish (the kind for brownies et al)
2 muffin tins (standard size)
toothpicks (for checking doneness)
pie dish
loaf pan
cake pans
tart shell pan
angel food pan
2 mini muffin tins (you will know when you need these and you will have to push through an awkward phase of wanting to make everything in 2-bite chunks)

blowtorch (if you are an avid baker you will reach the point of wanting to crème brûlée something)

Baking, gluten free essentials
off-set spatula (Of cake decorating fame. They are key for spreading gf pizza dough.)
kitchen scale (yes I put this twice, but you really need it!)
cupcake liners

If you have an outdoor grill
fire extinguisher
long spring-loaded tongs 
long wooden handle spatula 
grill scraper (essential if you are doing a lot of grilling. You need to slough off the built-up food on the grates so they don't ignite)

This list is by no means exhaustive and you will need to tailor it to your space and needs. If you make baby food, a food mill or food processor might shoot up to the top of the list.

So tell me friends, what am I missing and what is on your dream kitchen list?

cherry almond butter cookies that will blow your socks off

I was invited to a party where the host cannot eat dairy or cane sugar. Not wanting to disappoint - and knowing the crowd was a pretty open-minded bunch of heck-yeah-I-will-try-a-new-weird-food people, I thought I would attempt a dessert. No gluten, no grains, no sugar, no butter, no problem. These cookies were a giant hit. 

I basically made a modified version of The Ambitious Kitchen's Flourless Almond Butter Dark Chocolate Chunk Cookies. They are on the cakey-side of cookies, but who cares because they taste awesome and don't have a gritty or weird texture. I am not so subtly looking at you coconut oil and rice flour cookies of sadness. 

Cherry Almond Butter Cookies

1 cup creamy almond butter
4 dates (pitted)
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 egg
1/2 tsp kosher salt (plus more to sprinkle on top if you like)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
1/4 cup chopped dried cherries
1/4 cup pistachios 

preheat oven to 350F 

1. In a mixer with a paddle attachment combine the almond butter, dates, maple syrup, egg, salt, baking soda, and extracts. Beat on medium speed for 1 minute.
2. Scrape down bowl, beat again for another minute. 
3. Stir in the cherries and pistachios
4. Spoon out 2-3tsp portions of the batter onto lined cookie sheets (parchment is your best bet here). 
5. Bake at 350F for 7-12 minutes
6. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for 10 minutes on the cookie sheets, then you can transfer them to a cooling rack. 

These things taste so so so so good, but they will stick together if you stack them in a Tupperware - you have been warned.

forgiveness

May is Celiac awareness month and GlutenAway started a great campaign focusing on the good. In thinking about what I am thankful for, or what good has come of my diagnosis, I am more and more aware of who-got-it-wrong and the grudges I am holding on to. I can recall the name of every server and establishment who has mis-served me, companies with false/inaccurate packaging, medical professionals and friends who implied my symptoms were all in my head.

It is really hard to let go of shit like this.

I want to focus this month on forgiveness. I want to forgive myself for all the mistakes I made, and forgive others who have made mistakes that have caused pain. (I had a goal of posting this 4 weeks ago, so let's just say my goal of forgiveness is a work in progress.)

forgiving me
I think this is the hardest part, letting go of the dread and regret I have. In 2007, I waited a long time to go see a physician about my symptoms. I have been holding on to that "lost time".  11 doctors later, I still wasn't  feeling great and ugly cried in my bathroom after I found out my multivitamin I was taking--2 months after being diagnosed--was made with wheat starch. I was so angry with myself for not getting it right. (I could list a hundred of these little things where I feel I-should-have-known ___) I have been holding on to these wishes of retroactive knowledge, like somehow once we discover time travel I could go back and all of this pain baggage would be worth while.

I want to create the space to realize I have made a lot of mistakes and I have learned from them. I don't need to spend more time rethinking about these situations. I need to let go of the idea that I should have been perfect at figuring it all out, instantly. There is value in these feelings - I just don't need them all the time.

I have also been angry with myself for having honest-to-goodness normal reactions. I have been frustrated with my feelings of being left out at work functions; told myself that I should just be able to "not care" about being excluded or forgotten. I have tried to down-play my frustration with people putting crumbs in the one gluten-free item at a party, or tell myself it isn't really a big deal.

I want to be ok with feeling feelings. I want to know that they don't have to last forever, but that I don't need to dismiss feeling left out because being left out sucks. It just does. Ok see I said it, now we can move on!

forgiving others
It is really hard to forgive those who have wronged us: doctors who misdiagnosed, loved ones who belittled us, companies and restaurants who got it wrong. The closer we are to these painful events the harder it is to forgive. It is hard to acknowledge that mistakes and missteps are going to keep happening. There is power in the anger when things initially go wrong, but I am not sure I want to hold on to it anymore.

I know I have experienced a lot of medical negligence, but I don't need to hold on to being mad at the GI specialist who told me I needed to eat a fiber supplement derived from wheat. Was it bad advice? You betcha!  Yet, me being angry about it doesn't change what happened - me finding a new doctor did.

So for me, Celiac Awareness Month has been a lot of reflection on who I want to be going forward. Today I had a 25 minute phone call with a manager at a restaurant that served me gluten last week. At the end of the conversation I decided to open myself up to the option of eating there again. I am not saying I am going to go tonight, and maybe I never will, but I am feeling a lot better being open to the option than being full of hate and venom.