Thursday, August 23, 2012

Get movin

September 1 is coming dangerously near. I have moved 7 times in the past three years, and am preparing for move number 8. Dear readers, learn from my mistakes:

Do not pack fish sauce. 
I hate wasting food, and will almost never say this but it is NOT worth risking a crack or spill to the $0.99 glass jug of the beautiful brown liquor that's unique pungency will resist all forms of laundering. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to your friends or movers. Just throw it out. (Or triple wrap it in ziplock, hid it at work for a week until you have your brain back and can deal with delicate substances.)

Don't keep things you don't use. 
That item isn't just sitting there gaining dust. You are loosing money on the possible things you could house and store in place of the [useless] item. Maybe it is space for shoes, (or socks that have functioning elastic), or a bulk quantity of a gluten free flour you actually cook with. Get rid of the junk. Donate it or throw it out. Don't waste your time packing, labeling, moving, unpacking, and restoring it.

You are not going to be smart for a while - plan for it. 
The week before and after packing are not your best. You are in the process of judging your possessions, forgetting where you put things, and trying to adjust to a new environment. Cooking is going to take a back burner, if you can even find that under the piles of boxes. So plan ahead. Make yourself enough pre-made, frozen meals for a few days, or even a week. Make these the last things you pack. Put a note on your old freezer AND the front door to remind you to empty it out. Deposit these directly into your new freezer.  (Bonus if you pack a few sets of silverware in a bag and tape them to the freezer door.) This will keep you from making a hunger-crazed bad decision to try out a new take out place, or eat 5 Lara Bars as "dinner".

The gluten is coming
If you are lucky enough to have friends help you move, pizza is going to happen. If you are lucky to keep a gluten-free kitchen, plan ahead for this outside invader and put your guard up. Remember to wash your hands before you eat or touch your face! The previous tenant probably also was a glutenmouth, so make sure you do a thorough clean of your new place.

Be nice
If you have to move on September 1st, please be kind to yourself and others. Out-of-towners are going to get lost. Every year someone does not read the signs and get's a moving truck stuck in a tunnel. Locals are going to be pissed that you are ruining their last weekend of summer with extra traffic. Stay hydrated! Say thank you! And good luck.

PS - Tacos are my favorite moving food. Most are naturally gluten free, cheap, easy to eat without cutlery. And who doesn't love Jaritos?!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Dear Dogfishhead,

You owe me more than a beer. You owe me an apology. For over a year I have been excited, touting the hypothetical glory that would be getting to sip that very first sip of your gluten free beer offering. A small, craft brewer, taking their time to concoct something different, something good, something that didn't taste like all the other gluten free beers out there. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled a bit when I heard you were creating something with fruit. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, perhaps you were making a lambic. No. Still I held out hope that your brew house wouldn't waste your time, and customer's money - customers who are so often disappointed by crappy gluten free offerings. 

And then you went out and one-upped me on all of the worse possible combinations of wrong I ever thought could be shoved into a glass bottle. 

Let's start at the smell shall we?
Nail salon plus ode de Strawberry Shortcake doll from the 80s. How did you bend chemistry to morph fruit and sorghum to reek of acetone?

The taste... not much better.
It is sweet and sour-ish at the same time.
I find it hard to believe a hops came anywhere near the bottle. 
The carbonation is all wrong, bubbles too small and not enough of them.

The Tweason'ale is the only gluten free beer I have not finished. Two sips and I was done, forever. The rest got poured down the drain.

I could not be more dissapointed,


Saturday, August 11, 2012

fashion nightmare

This season's Louis Vuitton window art looks like a nightmare, something almost conjured up by Tim Burton. Walking by it yesterday I realized that it is a celiac nightmare - damaged villi!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

South Shore support

This might the most reasonable and accurate gluten-free Globe write-up yet!

Gluten Free and Loving It

(Ok, it omits issues of cross contamination, but on the whole at least it does describe the situation more accurately and it is great to see a support group getting recognition.)