No Gluten Required

Dear Dogfishhead,

You owe me more than a beer. You owe me an apology. For over a year I have been excited, touting the hypothetical glory that would be getting to sip that very first sip of your gluten free beer offering. A small, craft brewer, taking their time to concoct something different, something good, something that didn't taste like all the other gluten free beers out there. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled a bit when I heard you were creating something with fruit. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, perhaps you were making a lambic. No. Still I held out hope that your brew house wouldn't waste your time, and customer's money - customers who are so often disappointed by crappy gluten free offerings. 

And then you went out and one-upped me on all of the worse possible combinations of wrong I ever thought could be shoved into a glass bottle. 

Let's start at the smell shall we?

Nail salon plus ode de Strawberry Shortcake doll from the 80s. How did you bend chemistry to morph fruit and sorghum to reek of acetone?

The taste... not much better.
It is sweet and sour-ish at the same time.
I find it hard to believe a hops came anywhere near the bottle. 
The carbonation is all wrong, bubbles too small and not enough of them.

The Tweason'ale is the only gluten free beer I have not finished. Two sips and I was done, forever. The rest got poured down the drain.

I could not be more dissapointed,

Kristina